oracne - Victoria Janssen (oracne) wrote,
oracne - Victoria Janssen

The Dark Knight Rises

In brief, TL;DR. *ahem* I saw "The Dark Knight Rises" last night and though I thought it was good, it wasn't my platonic ideal of a Batman movie, and also it was too long.

1. Well, at least we got one glimpse of Tom Hardy's actual face. Also, he looked incredibly hot when he was climbing down a chain hand-over-hand.

2. I grew to like the plummy British accent Hardy used for Bane. Decades of training in cartoon villains with British accents, perhaps? Only the accent got me through the long pontificatory speeches. That's the real reason to get rid of supervillains. They never shut up.

3. I would happily watch the "Detective Blake and Commissioner Gordon Show" for quite a while. Their theme song could be "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys.

4. I liked the way they did Selina Kyle/Catwoman - she seemed suitably amoral.

5. Anne Hathaway is very stylish, particularly in the hat she wore in the airport scene. As in, effortlessly stylish, or at least she looked that way.

6. Marion Cotillard is incredibly beautiful and I bet she looks terrific in vintage Hollywood-style gowns. And yes I am focusing on her looks, too, because I do not want to contemplate her character arc because it makes me really angry. Miranda/Thalia and Bane should have just run away together. They could have opened a fetish club where no one would give him a second glance and made tons of money off it for safe fusion energy, or something.

7. Oh Batman, your manpain was surprising dull to me this time around, blah blah out of the pit, and this time it's a literal pit, no that does not make it better, blah blah. Except the bit with your back surgery was a LOL moment. Very cartoon physics. I was glad for your manpain later because you deserved it because you were mean to Alfred and in the penultimate scene he was sad, so fuck that. How can you be mean to Michael Caine? What is wrong with you, Batman? Oh, yeah. Orphan, bats, one too many concussions, etc..

8. Also, was the Batman mask obstructing Christian Bale's breathing? Because his mouth seemed to be hanging open a lot of the time.

9. I love Morgan Freeman. Especially when Mr. Fox totally checked out Catwoman.

10. Apparently, there were no cars on any of those bridges when they blew. At least I didn't see any. Why no CGI cars falling into the river?

11. I had no idea Burn Gorman could do an American accent.

12. I recognized Cillian Murphy immediately but didn't realize he was supposed to (still) be Scarecrow in this movie. Having forgotten in which one he played Scarecrow.

13. Gotham is the most deserted-sidewalks city ever - also the whitest. I was pretty pissed off when Blake's partner, the Asian guy who didn't get lines, got killed right before he might have had A Line. Other non-white guy with lines got blown away, too. The cops were overwhelmingly white and male, though I did notice a few women cops in one scene, and a few non-white cops in the last big confrontation. Non-white characters: disadvantaged youth. Football players. Mr. Fox is the only non-white character with a major role. Women are bad off in this movie, too. They don't even get to die on the ice.

Tags: batman, movies

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